Copy for Paragraph Analysis 2

Here is the link to my paragraph analysis for project two.

Cunningham, Simon "Analysis" 12/18/2013 via Flickr CC BY 2.0

Overall, I think I did a good job of focusing on the main idea, stated in my thesis, and developing it. I need to improve my transitions between paragraphs and switch to my new conclusion from the previous blog post. My original conclusion was too focused on summarizing claims.